twenty nine days

I have come to the conclusion that I am a terrible blogger.

This is most likely because i haven't posted anything since June 24. However, I have my reasons.

Excuse #1 There's so much that's been going on, that instead of worrying about reflecting back on what I've been doing, I've instead been living it, therefore not taking the time to blog about it.

I wish that I had posted about everyday in Martha's Vineyard, but thanks to Excuse # 2, that would have been impossible considering there was no internet access, or cell service for that matter. I felt completely cut off from society. (But I have to say it was nice and not as bad as I had anticipated it to be.)

Excuse #3 Since summer has started I've tried to make more of an effort to stay off the computer and stay outside more

Excuse #4 Since it had been so long since I had posted, I figured I might as well make it one day short of exactly a month from my last post.

Excuse #5 I'm lazy.

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I've been visiting Martha's Vineyard ever since I was born. It's one of the few times my extended family gets to consume large amounts of alcohol and blame it on "being on vacation" under one roof. Oh and there's fish; lots of fish.
I only have one grandparent, and it's my dad's dad. He is in love with the game cribbage, so when I was little he taught he how to play in hopes of making me the fan that he is of the game. It worked. Every year he has us play in a cribbage "tournament" and he buys chocolates for the winner. It is adorable and makes me so happy to see him get so excited about something so simple.

The house that we stay at is a mile from the beach so most of my days were spent there, working my tanning schedule around the rain.

Ha what a joke. We all know that Sun + Nina =disaster.

Although, sunblock was good to me over that week, because I didn't manage to get burnt to a crisp when I was there. That most likely wasn't thanks to the sunblock however. It probably had to do with the sun barely showing its face the entire week. But I'm not complaining, I'm not a lobster!

The day after I got back from Martha's I woke up to leave for Pennsylvania. I'd have to say by the end of the trip the seven hour drive was worth it. I got to be really close with someone who I expected to always be just "acquaintances" with, and was really surprised at how someone who's so quiet can open up so much and change my opinion of them.

The trip was for a basketball tournament that was hosted at Penn State. It's a college showcase tournament, and so naturally all of my teammates felt the need to freak out and put so much pressure on themselves anytime a college coach came to watch our games. It made me feel so out of place, because as much as I love to play basketball, one, I am not good enough to play in college, and two, I'm not found of giving up my life in college and selling my soul to the devil. Oh sorry, I meant college coach.

I get that if you love something so much and it's your life, it should continue to be your life in college, but what about after college? Most people don't go on to play professionally, and some people are stupid enough to choose their school based on where they're going to play basketball. I just don't get that.

Recently I realized that I have the hardest time telling the direct truth to someone when I have to pay the cost of hurting them in the process. It's not that I'll lie, I'll just tend to avoid the truth as much as possible and put the blame on something completely different, hoping they'll pick up on my hint; they never do. This strategy, when gone over in my head at first, seems like the best solution. Instead it backfires and nothing is accomplished. Situations could be made so much easier if I found a way to be honest as well as conscious of others' feelings. I hope I can find this way.