come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long

theres no time to do anything i want to.
or maybe i just need to manage my time better.
yeah.. thats most likely it.

les personnes

I hate how people's personalities constantly change. I feel like I know someone so well one minute, and the next they're doing something I'd never expect them to do. That's when I start to question my judgement of people and if what I thought of them at first is just a cover up or not. I wish people were comfortable and confident enough to just be themselves from the beginning because it would make everything so much easier. I really respect the people that are strong enough to actually do that.

I guess that's how relationships and friendships are, though. You get to know the different sides of people and you learn to love everything about them.

I guess what frustrates me is that people are always trying to impress people. They will go to great lengths to find the best way to make themselves look good,  even if it is done subconsciously.

Maybe I'm being completely contradictory. Maybe I'm not making any sense. Maybe these thoughts have no correspondence whatsoever.

Most likely it's the second and third one.

People who I don't know have some mysteriousness about them that allows me to imagine them to be anyway. 

That's what's great about going someplace new, especially in the city because of the variety and amount of people. I love Boston, because so much is going on that it's never boring. I think what plays a part in it being so much fun is the fact that Princeton is the complete opposite, so it's something new.

Going to New Jersey made me realize that I should cherish the times when I can stay in a million dollar house a block away from a beach, because unless I miraculously win the lottery, or discover that it's my destiny to become a surgeon, it's unfortunately unlikely I'll be able to enjoy such a luxury when I'm older.

 

Last night there was an infestation of bugs in my room. That's when I realized that the only two things I don't mind killing are mosquitoes and moths. Oh and ants, but there weren't ants in my room last night. So many people are afraid of spiders, so when there is a spider within a foot of them, their fear asserts me to killing them, and they're always surprised when I pick them up and bring them outside. 

The secret life of the American teenager makes me laugh. First off, the title is enough to describe how ridiculous it is of an attempt to make a show. Throwing aside it's terrible excuse for actors, every other word is sex. Because apparently that's all kids in high school do every second of the day. Oh and they all know statistics about it and are comfortable about talking about it with their parents. Believe it or not, getting pregnant goes along with having sex, so of course there are multiple pregnancies in this show. The funny thing about a show like this is that it gets people like me, who are dumb enough to waste their time watching something so pathetic, to actually do so.

twenty nine days

I have come to the conclusion that I am a terrible blogger.

This is most likely because i haven't posted anything since June 24. However, I have my reasons.

Excuse #1 There's so much that's been going on, that instead of worrying about reflecting back on what I've been doing, I've instead been living it, therefore not taking the time to blog about it.

I wish that I had posted about everyday in Martha's Vineyard, but thanks to Excuse # 2, that would have been impossible considering there was no internet access, or cell service for that matter. I felt completely cut off from society. (But I have to say it was nice and not as bad as I had anticipated it to be.)

Excuse #3 Since summer has started I've tried to make more of an effort to stay off the computer and stay outside more

Excuse #4 Since it had been so long since I had posted, I figured I might as well make it one day short of exactly a month from my last post.

Excuse #5 I'm lazy.

____

I've been visiting Martha's Vineyard ever since I was born. It's one of the few times my extended family gets to consume large amounts of alcohol and blame it on "being on vacation" under one roof. Oh and there's fish; lots of fish.
I only have one grandparent, and it's my dad's dad. He is in love with the game cribbage, so when I was little he taught he how to play in hopes of making me the fan that he is of the game. It worked. Every year he has us play in a cribbage "tournament" and he buys chocolates for the winner. It is adorable and makes me so happy to see him get so excited about something so simple.

The house that we stay at is a mile from the beach so most of my days were spent there, working my tanning schedule around the rain.

Ha what a joke. We all know that Sun + Nina =disaster.

Although, sunblock was good to me over that week, because I didn't manage to get burnt to a crisp when I was there. That most likely wasn't thanks to the sunblock however. It probably had to do with the sun barely showing its face the entire week. But I'm not complaining, I'm not a lobster!

The day after I got back from Martha's I woke up to leave for Pennsylvania. I'd have to say by the end of the trip the seven hour drive was worth it. I got to be really close with someone who I expected to always be just "acquaintances" with, and was really surprised at how someone who's so quiet can open up so much and change my opinion of them.

The trip was for a basketball tournament that was hosted at Penn State. It's a college showcase tournament, and so naturally all of my teammates felt the need to freak out and put so much pressure on themselves anytime a college coach came to watch our games. It made me feel so out of place, because as much as I love to play basketball, one, I am not good enough to play in college, and two, I'm not found of giving up my life in college and selling my soul to the devil. Oh sorry, I meant college coach.

I get that if you love something so much and it's your life, it should continue to be your life in college, but what about after college? Most people don't go on to play professionally, and some people are stupid enough to choose their school based on where they're going to play basketball. I just don't get that.

Recently I realized that I have the hardest time telling the direct truth to someone when I have to pay the cost of hurting them in the process. It's not that I'll lie, I'll just tend to avoid the truth as much as possible and put the blame on something completely different, hoping they'll pick up on my hint; they never do. This strategy, when gone over in my head at first, seems like the best solution. Instead it backfires and nothing is accomplished. Situations could be made so much easier if I found a way to be honest as well as conscious of others' feelings. I hope I can find this way.

the complications you could do without

A couple months ago I decided that I wanted to keep a journal. After my first entry, I promised myself that this would become a daily routine of mine. It was nice to get all of my thoughts out on paper.
Three months have gone by and I haven't even looked at the journal since then. I just have been so busy, and its hard for me to get myself to just sit down and write, as much as I'd love to do so.
I figured since I waste endless hours of my life avoiding homework on facebook, I might as well avoid it more efficiently.
I made this blog about a week ago, but it took me until now to finally bring myself to write in it, (thanks to the encouragement of emily, emily and joey). I think the reason I kept putting it off was because I kept asking myself why I'd have one in the first place. I felt like blogs were places where people let out their thoughts by using a wide vocabulary of words, which is an ability that unfortunately I lack. Something changed my mind though. I still don't really know what it was, but I think I will eventually find out.


My brother got his appendix removed on Sunday. He's been on our couch since he came home from the hospital. I'm pretty sure the only times he got up were to go to the bathroom..
at least, I hope he even did that.
He's eighteen and the drugs he's been on have changed him to have the patience of a four year old.
He's helpless and whiny. When my mom's not home she asks me to take care of him.
My mom even set up a walkie talkie with him in the TV room enabling him to even more easily bug me while I'm studying. It's basically a baby monitor.
I really shouldn't complain though, because he is in a lot of pain, and I do feel bad for him.
They cut through his belly button. It's disgusting. It makes me so glad that I haven't had to have surgery, and hopefully never will.
His friends have been coming in and out of our door to visit him. It's nice to see that he actually has some nice friends that aren't all just jerks who spray paint profanities on parking lots..


My mom's car broke down on her way home from work yesterday.
The funny thing about having your license is that you actually have to have a car in order for it to be any help to you whatsoever..
Not like I'd actually have anywhere to go because finals are consuming my life, but I'd like to think that I could go somewhere if I wanted. I like options.

ohhhh finals. how i do not love thee.
Especially when I study for you for endless hours and cram in information into my head that I guarantee I will not remember after this weekend. So really, what's the point? I feel like there isn't one. Yet I still feel the obligation to not fail you..
With that said, goodbye blog, hello vocab.